The Darkness Inside
by ChangingTheCircumstances
Summary: It's the look that gets Sam. It's the look of the Winter Soldier but it's on Bucky's face. It's on the face of his lover, partner, and friend, not a brainwashed pawn. One-shot: Warnings inside


**AN: Warnings for homophobia and violence.**

* * *

There are times when Bucky honest to god scares Sam, but not always in the same way.

Once, Sam woke up to Bucky kicking and screaming, the dream to vivid to allow him to distinguish it from reality. It took all Sam's strength and patience to calm him down. Even when it was over, he couldn't help but worry that Bucky had gotten lost in the dreams and memories. Now nights like that are few and far between but right when one or the other thinks they're gone, they come back in full force.

Then there were the times Bucky nearly died. He was always to reckless with his life when killing Hydra agents mattered more than anything else. It doesn't matter more now. Bucky's friends and family matter more. But the near death experiences certainly took a toll on Sam and Bucky still does reckless stunts on occasion.

But being scared that Bucky isn't in control, that never happened. When he'd first come to Avenger's Tower, he'd been more than careful to never lose his temper and as time passed, he found he didn't need to check himself. Steve helped a lot with that, simply having the man around, a constant hand to hold, body to lean on, was good for Bucky, especially before him and Sam got together.

Now nearly three years have passed. Bucky certainly isn't healed, but then again, none of the Avengers are either, not fully.

The city, or world for that matter, isn't under attack which gives time for Bucky and Sam to simply enjoy themselves. They go for their usual run in the morning with Steve despite the cold and then go back to the Tower to shower. They hang out with the other Avengers for a while but then go out again, this time bundled up since they won't be working up a sweat.

By this time, Tony has modified Bucky's arm so that it looks human but he puts on gloves to help keep the metal warm and so it doesn't freeze up. Sam throws on a scarf before they're both on the street and walking towards their favorite coffee place.

It's not even Thanksgiving yet but already everything is lit up and it looks like it might snow soon. Sam suggests that they start browsing the stores in search for presents for everyone and Bucky agrees, but coffee first. They get their coffee and as they walk, they find a street court for basketball that's popular with middle schoolers and high schoolers. The gate is still open, and somebody has left their jacket and, luckily enough, a basketball. It only takes a second before Bucky puts his cup down and is then bounding towards the basketball. He dribbles it a few times, testing the air in it, and then smiles.

"One game?"

The childlike smile on Bucky's face allows Sam to make his final decision. Smiles like that are rare and Sam finds them brighter than the sun itself.

"You're on old man."

Before long, both are taking off gloves and then scarves, the one game turning into many. The jacket's finally come off, Sam's shirt stained and Bucky's hair stuck to his head. Neither feel the heat though, the cold November day perfectly balancing them.

Back and forth they go, up and down the court. Bucky is faster, stronger, and quicker than Sam despite the fact that the Falcon is at the height of physical fitness for a human. Nevertheless, Sam knows enough tricks to get a few over on Bucky. He tries blocking a shot but both are giddy with adrenaline. The ball makes it through the hoop but Bucky also launches himself forward by accident and they both tumble to the ground. Sam lets out a gasp and just barely stops his head from hitting the concrete.

"Are you-" Bucky tries but is stopped as Sam pulls him into a kiss.

"I'm fine. Just tell me next time your legs decide to give out and I'll catch you."

"Funny," Bucky mutters, the smile coming back as he kisses Sam.

Bucky is almost ready to pull away and finally help Sam up when he hears the shout. The words cause him to jerk away sharply, looking over to see who is there. His eyes don't leave the group of five as he pulls up Sam.

They look like a typical gang. Looking into each person's past may come up with some tragic back story but Bucky reminds himself nothing beats an Avengers backstory and he knows that whatever led the gang in front of him to this day could've been avoided. The one who had yelled out is leaning on the gate, standing in the opening. Bucky analyzes just how easy it would be to knock the guy down and leave but before he can finish, Sam is already moving forward.

"Care to say that to my face?" Sam asks.

"_Faggot_." The man draws the word out like it's the vilest thing in the world.

"So you're calling me a pile of twigs."

"What-"

"Sam," Bucky says, his face clear with worry.

The man tries to grab at Sam. "Listen hear fag-"

It's simple really, evading the hand, and Sam locks the man's arm behind his back and says matter-o-factly, "And that's a twig. You really should improve your vocabulary before insulting someone."

In response, the man tries to rip away from Sam and when he can't, that's when his buddies finally attack.

Five against two may be uneven but Sam and Bucky are Avengers and the fight really favors them. Nevertheless, one guy gets a good punch to one of Sam's kidneys. Physically fit or not, Sam goes down immediately.

As he does, the man who started the whole thing is suddenly up in the air.

Bucky had been holding back, not seeing a need to completely bash the guys up, but seeing Sam go down like that causes his metal arm to react before his mind can. He holds the man up by the throat, no amount of struggling helping him get free. The others freeze, to afraid and shocked to move.

"I could squeeze my hand right now and kill you," Bucky says and the tone in his voice causes Sam to try and focus on him, even though his vision is clouding and he's trying not to throw up. Bucky's voice is cold and cruel, anger behind every word yet still creepily calm.

"I could also crack your skull in," Bucky continues. "I could break your neck and there's nothing you could do. I could even use my pinky and scoop out your eyes here and now."

Bucky states several other techniques of torture before finishing with, "Whatever you've just heard, it isn't anywhere near as bad as what I'll do to you if Sam is permanently hurt in any way."

And with that, he lets him go, the man and his friends running so fast that none of them can keep their balance and are practically falling over each other.

Bucky doesn't watch them go however, already tending to Sam.

To winded and vision still going in and out, Sam doesn't get anything out except Bucky's name which he repeats over and over. He faintly hears the sirens and knows he's being taken to a hospital but all he focuses on is Bucky. When Bucky is gone, there's only darkness.

For Sam, it seems like in an instant he's awake again but the nurse tells him he's been out for an entire day. There's no serious damage to the kidney or area it turns out but he'll have to keep ice on it and do as little movement as possible for at least a week. He then asks the question that matters the most.

"Can I see Bucky?"

The nurse allows him to but warns him that he needs to get his rest and that he shouldn't over do himself for the day. Sam ignores those words because all he can see is the murderous look in Bucky's eyes. Even when fighting Hydra agents Bucky hadn't ever looked like that. The eyes and voice can only remind Sam of the Winter Soldier.

But Bucky comes in eyes watery with enough emotion on his face to help quench the fears. Nevertheless as Bucky prattles on about how worried he was (which is a bit amusing seeing as he's not big on words) Sam can't help but remember that face. Because yes, it had reminded him of the Winter Soldier but that had been Bucky looking on that man. Not a brainwashed soldier. All those threats hadn't been empty and it makes Sam afraid.

It makes him worry about what will happen if he does die in combat, or Steve, or Nat for that matter. But then he reminds himself that he is alive today and that'll he'll be okay after a bit of healing. He can keep Bucky whole, keep him safe.

Sam knows he can't take that darkness out of Bucky, but he hopes he can make it so that it never resurfaces again.


End file.
